When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.

I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.