I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn.

I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.

There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.

I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.

In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.