I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause.

Where there's a will there's a dead person.

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What good would that do?

I spend money with reckless abandon. Last month I blew $5000 at a reincarnation. I got to thinking, what the hell, you only live once!

I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause.

Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.