The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just - I don't think it really can get any better than that, I don't think.

My real life is funnier than anything on TV.

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.

A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.

Impeach the President and the Vice President, they are traitors to America, and so are all of their supporters. Impeach! Anyone in congress who refuses to save our union from these traitors by doing nothing needs to be recalled.

Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the guillotines and subsequently beheaded. And isn't that easier and more productive than some endless, bloody conflict? So sayeth the gospel of common sense. Happy Mother's Day.

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'