The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.

There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.

I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.

The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.

Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.

A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.