Everyone in America (according to my generalizations) is a potential millionaire waiting for his or her big break. I was astonished lately to realize that Americans are definitely believing in and planning for the future, despite the fact that they elected Ronald Reagan twice.

There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more.

Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.

I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!

In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.