Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they won't get any men, but you will. You'll get more men, and better men.

It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The Democrats think that if they have hope and are inspired, things will get better, but they actually won't.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.

One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.

Being nuts is its own reward.

I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law the patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble as will the concept of war itself which is largely a large load of bullshit.