I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law the patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble as will the concept of war itself which is largely a large load of bullshit.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they won't get any men, but you will. You'll get more men, and better men.

Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.

I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won't hit you because you are a vegetarian.

I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.