The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!

I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I crave the feeling of hope it gives me to think that today will be different from yesterday, that I will find an interesting comment or poke or video, and on the extremely rare occasion when that happens, I am just thrilled.

The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.

Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.

You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.

My children love me. I'm like the mother they never had.