My grandmother ... came here, not only like so many others because of the streets 'being paved with gold' and all, but because she wanted to leave the place where the streets were paved with people who had not gone to America.

Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays.

I used to think that communing with nature was a healing, positive thing. Now, I think I'd like to commune with other things - like room service and temperature control.

Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?

I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't going just to export war. If it was actually going to help the people of the United States, I would gladly pay more.

two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.

If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.