I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.

The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.

Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.

I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.

Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem!

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.