The American people are sick and tired of this ‘lesser evil’ garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they’re in office...

One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.

Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the guillotines and subsequently beheaded. And isn't that easier and more productive than some endless, bloody conflict? So sayeth the gospel of common sense. Happy Mother's Day.

I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.

I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it up. A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did.

I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.

I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.