A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms up either?

ACORN is organizing to make sure the job of rebuilding New Orleans is done by the people of New Orleans and truly benefits the communities who have been hurt the most.

Nobody wanted the "Roseanne" show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.

I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.

I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!

I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.