As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.

After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.

There's nothing like a hardship song to set my toes a-tappin.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.