I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

My children love me. I'm like the mother they never had.

I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.

Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones.

The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.

One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.

I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.