Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

Diets are a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.

My husband says, 'Roseanne, don't you think we ought to talk about our sexual problems?' Like I'm gonna turn off Wheel of Fortune for that.

I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust.

I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.

I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.