Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

Somewhere within the concept of justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this, not completely. The people must have justice and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine!

Anyone with a show on T.V. will tell you it's backbreaking work. And if you have a big personality, which I have, and you're a perfectionist, there's going to be head-butting.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.

I like it when very little children think for themselves, because they do not have access to car keys or credit cards or crack pipes, but they have some really funny lines.