I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.

I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.

I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.

Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.