I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.

I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.

You know what, when I was thin, I thought there was a fat girl trying to get out of me.

I'm a heterosexual. I don't know why I'm like this. I was just born this way.

Abortion is a woman's right.