I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy.

I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.

Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice NEVER attacks a nation that can defend itself. Zionism is patriarchal and sets Judaism on its head.

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.

You know what, when I was thin, I thought there was a fat girl trying to get out of me.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.