Mum used to hide love letters from my boyfriends and put me down. Now I understand that she was a Polish immigrant forced to settle in Chicago. She was jealous of the freedom life gave me.

People who say ... they're perfectly fine [are] more insane than the rest of us.

I knew nothing about football, then someone showed me a film of Petit and I realised how interesting the game could be. He is divine. When I met him I could barely speak, he was so gorgeous. Women will love that show.

College athletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.

I'm lucky not to have a nine-to-five job.

Nannies love working in our house because they never know who's gonna walk through the door.

I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun.