I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced

I am lucky to have good Polish skin that doesn't wrinkle so I might be around for a few years yet.

Why, when you have a mental disease, is it always considered an act of imagination? Why is it that every organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy except the brain?

I don't combine proteins and carbohydrates.

I always ask the booksellers to look at me and recommend a book; 9 out of 10, they get it right; it’s usually a book about someone dysfunctional. To me bookstores are like brothels of imagination, each book is luring me over going, 'Read me, read me'.

I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun.

People who say ... they're perfectly fine [are] more insane than the rest of us.