When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.

With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'

From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

I've never said flange to a monkey!

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.

Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'

I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.