I wasnt particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

I look like Walt Disney just threw up.

I cant sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. Im shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.

I am breathing. That's how I'm staying alive!