If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.

Two thongs don't make a right.

I wasnt particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

The sky, the sky beyond the door is bluuuuuuue!