If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

I wasnt particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.

I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

I look like Walt Disney just threw up.