Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.

Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.

When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.