The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory.
The sight of home looks best after you've traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it.
Nobody's too fat - they're just too short.