Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.

The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.

Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.

Nobody's too fat - they're just too short.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.