"Tell me, doctor, " said the patient, "when I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet now?" "That's because your feet aren't empty," said the doctor.

When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.

The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.