President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.

Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.

Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.