Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

The sight of home looks best after you've traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it.

When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.

Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.