Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.

The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.

Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.

If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.