Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.

On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.

Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.