The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.

Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands - and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.