The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.

Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.

The sight of home looks best after you've traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it.