"Tell me, doctor, " said the patient, "when I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet now?" "That's because your feet aren't empty," said the doctor.
Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.
Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.
Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
Don't drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.