The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.

Nobody's too fat - they're just too short.

Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.

Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.