The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.

I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

Nothing in the world can replace the modern swimsuit, and it practically has.

If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.