The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.

The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.