If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.