A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.

I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.

Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.

On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.