A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.

Don't drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.