A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.