A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?

Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.

Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.