Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.

Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.

If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.