On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?

"Tell me, doctor, " said the patient, "when I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet now?" "That's because your feet aren't empty," said the doctor.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.

Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.