Two things help to keep one's job. First, let the boss think he's having his own way. Second, let him have it.

President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.

A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in.

"Tell me, doctor, " said the patient, "when I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet now?" "That's because your feet aren't empty," said the doctor.

Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.