An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.

Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?