What happened? Satan was busy?

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.

It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.

If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.