Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.

I have lived a carnal life.

What happened? Satan was busy?

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?