Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

There's always 30 or 40 Christians standing around, saying, "It's a shame that he has to die." And Jesus is saying, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to if somebody would get a ladder and pair of pliers!!"

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.