Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.

I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.

You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.

You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?

If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.