I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.

So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.