You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.

I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.

I'd rather entertain people than offend them.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?