Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.
You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.
You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!