It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?

Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.

Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.

Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!

I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.