I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.

Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?