I have lived a carnal life.
Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!