I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.

AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

What happened? Satan was busy?

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.